rorschach test with no right answers

i got an interesting call at the gallery yesterday. an older guy called up looking for some work by an artist named clarence dick; this was not a prank call, though it sounds like one at the moment. we actually do have a couple of artists with the last name of dick, so it didn't seem totally off-track. i had never heard of clarence and asked my boss if he had, no. i told him about the artists that we work with who shared that last name and he asked me "so, well, how do i go about obtaining one of these...uh...i guess you would call them dick prints?". for real. and he was serious, so i was polite through the end of the conversation. in fact i pretty much ignored his phrasing, but i started snickering like a teenager when i got off the phone, which snowballed into laughter that i had to explain to my boss.

of course his perfect choice of words for "dick print" led my brain to goofy visuals. just about everything that you can make a print of has been tried already. i'm sure somebody has done it. i can completely imagine some guy standing around in his undershirt, with dropped trow and dark dress socks, wang in one hand and a speedball roller in the other. i figure his ink of choice would have to be klein blue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yves_Klein). actually, yves klein probably did this exact thing, it would be right up his alley. i may need to look into this. my only distinct art history memories regarding mr. klein are that he pissed me off. his "anthropometry" performance art pieces seemed so chauvinistic. some are beautiful, but the ego required to drag somebody's body through paint (always a nude woman, by the way--and they were gorgeous, think twiggy with boobs) for the purpose of performance is tremendous. nevertheless, some of his end results were lovely, here is a good one http://hirshhorn.si.edu/education/modern/modern4.html. it is, like a dick print, an ink blot test with no right answers.